I THOUGHT I FOUND MY BROTHER

I grew up longing for a love and company of a brother.
Maybe I was 4 or 5 years old then when I saw my father shedding tears furtively while reading a letter. I didn't bother to ask my father nor my mother about it. I knew the letter came from my grandmother and my tita who are miles away from us. That moment when I saw him cried didn't matter to me. Not until I heard my parents talking about a boy named "Butch". Since then I could always hear that name. Everytime our relatives come to visit us or we come to visit them I could always hear from them the dialogues, "Kamusta na si Butch?", " Nagsusulat ba siya sa inyo?" or "Siguro malaki na siya ano?" So many times they talked about that boy and it became a big question in my mind then.

Little by little, through the stories I heard from my family and some relatives everything was made clear to me and I had knew who "Butch" is in our life, in my life.

He is my older brother,the oldest of the four of us. He was adopted by my mother's sister who can not bear a child because her husband is impotent and she too is incapable of getting pregnant. My parents expected that they could still have a baby boy after him but it did not happen. My parents are never again blessed of having a son but rather three daughters.

The time when I knew that I have a brother I began to long for him.
I understand why I preferred to have boy than girl playmates when I was a child. Why I chose to make friends with boys when I was in Elementary. Why I feel great and secured when I have guy friends, and I really appreciated it when they let me call them "Kuya". Why I am very attached to boys who show concern and kindness to me.

There were no times that I did not wish to see my brother. Envy, bitterness,and jealous were all I felt when I was in Elementary everytime I could see the older brothers of my classmates went to our school to look for them and pick them after school.

There was a time in my life that I became hopeless of seeing my brother. I had thought seeing him is already a dream. But I never get tired of praying and begging God for it.
And again for how many times, I have proven the generosity and sensitivity of God to our needs. He answered my prayer not by giving back to us my brother but by using two individuals who fulfilled my dream.

Two Jesuit Volunteers went here at Koronadal with a mission of organizing the youth volunteers of pathways to strenghten their spirit of volunteerism in which they succesfully did. They were with us for 10 months and for that short span of time we shared a lot of things and a lot of laughters too.
Affectionately, we used to call them "Kuya Jay" and "Kuya Joe". With the other volunteers, we have made a lot of memories with them that are worth to treasure for.

For how many times we ate our meals together and after that sometimes we would watch a movie or have an idle walk in the street. Sometimes, after work or if we have nothing to do we would play our favorite past time the charades ( kuya jay and kuya joe are really good in it!!).

They have imparted us a lot of bright ideas and insights. They inspired me to continue extending help to individuals whom I know I am able to help. They made me fully realize that happiness and self-fulfillment in life can not be achieved by making yourself rich in money and other material things but rather making yourself rich in inspiring and touching other people lives.

I thank God, though in just 10 months, He made me feel the great feeling of having big brothers which I never experienced before. With Kuya Jay and Kuya Joe I found my lost older brother.

It's not only me that they have inspired and it's not only my life that they have touched but a lot of lives and a lot people.

Their mission has ended. I do not know if I could still see them again. But though they are gone the memories they left and the lot of things and learnings they have shared will always linger. And I will always live with it.

I know I will miss a lot of things and I will miss them a lot. But I know that there is no sense of grieving too much for their lost for I believe, someday, somewhere our paths would cross again.

As what Kuya Jay said, some things in life should be ended so as to give begginings to more beautiful things.